Leo Brown: If we break the cycle of chasing
feelings, we can learn to discern God’s will

Is faith a feeling or a decision? I think the same question could, and certainly has been, asked of love. Faith and love are intertwined in a number of ways, the most important of which, I believe, lies in the this question of feeling vs. decision. The rock group Van Halen asked, “How do I know when it’s love? It’s just something you feel together” the song concludes. This obviously seems to the basic criterion most of us use in choosing a spouse or maybe even a church. And not surprising, I believe this to be the reason why many of us find ourselves not sticking with either very long.

As a convert to Catholicism over 10 years ago, I had spent prior years trying to find a church home. We hear that phrase a lot. We may talk to friends at dinner gatherings. Friends who may have once been at our church and we ask, “So where have you guys been, we haven’t seen you in a while?” And they reply, “We’ve been trying to find a church home.” Why do we feel as if we have to go searching for the place that fits us? I believe it’s because we have made our faith decision with the same level of judgment as Van Halen. We want this place to be a beautiful connection between the church’s philosophy, the community and our feelings of satisfaction. Marriages based solely on how we feel fall apart, so why shouldn’t a commitment to a faith community be any different?

I see a faith community as a place that will hold me accountable to making decisions, decisions not based on how I feel, but rather what I believe God is calling me to do. As Catholics, interestingly enough, we also see our marriages holding us to the same degree of accountability. Again, not being led by our feelings, but our commitments to that to which we have been called. This is contradictory to what our culture tells us. Society says that it’s all about us and how we feel. Real fulfillment, however, will never come from being slave to our feelings. We must seek that which is beyond what is inside of us. If, by chance, we continue to fall prey to our external appetites, longings and feelings, then we will never fully arrive at what it is we were intended to encounter. St. Augustine, 4th century Bishop of Hippo, wrote, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in you, God.” If we haven’t yet made the decision to rest our heart in God then how do will we ever expect to “feel” the peace we so desperately seek?

How do we arrive at this internal decision? While I can’t give one blanket answer because we are all on individual journeys, and at different points along those journeys, I can say this about myself. I spent most of my young adult life in the mode of “if it feels good, do it.” This philosophy didn’t serve me well at all in my pre-Christian life, but I surely thought it would serve me perfectly in my faith journey. After all, God wants me to be happy, right? So I spent several years trying to find a faith community that would suit me. My main concern while sampling these churches was how they made me feel. What I didn’t realize is that God had something bigger than happiness in store for me. What he really wanted for me was joy.

Joy is not happiness, yet you can’t have true happiness without it. Joy isn’t affected by externals. Joy comes from a single source and that source is decision, a decision to hear and follow the will of God, regardless of feelings. Will you choose to be led by God to discover new and amazing truths that will fuel your fulfillment, or will you continue to wait for a feeling? Joy is a byproduct, or a gift, of decision-making. To once again quote St. Augustine, he said that, “understanding is the gift of faith.” The decision comes first and then we get the payoff, not the other way around. We must first decide to trust. And from that trust we must then act. Our action can be a simple as deciding to stick with where we are even if the feelings aren’t there.

If Christ had acted only on feelings where would we be? If feelings were his base criterion do you think he would have ever embraced the cross? It’s obvious he didn’t “feel” like going through with the whole crucifixion experience judging by his prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane to allow the cup to pass. However, he decided to follow God’s will. Christ, in laying his feelings aside to fully trust and follow God, gave us the roadmap for success in life. Chasing feelings is fleeting and only temporally rewarding, at best. If instead we seek to know, love and serve God our decisions will be very different. We will learn to stop giving everything the feeling test and instead learn to discern the will of God. This type of decision-making will ultimately be much more rewarding.

Life is often paradoxical. To find happiness Christ says that we must take up the cross and follow him. Why would he ask this? The cross didn’t feel good for him so why would it feel good to us? But what if there’s more here than meets the eye? What if that cross can actually bring us joy? Making decisions of this nature is a sign of spiritual maturity and the only way to stop the cycle of continually looking to be fulfilled by how we feel only to find that we are soon disenchanted. Whether it’s in faith or in love it’s never just something, in the words of Van Halen, “you feel together.” You must ultimately decide that God’s way is better than your way. Then maybe, you can break the cycle of chasing feelings and by finding that joy that’s in store, find true fulfillment.

Leo Brown is a certified Catechist of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Lexington and general manager of the Catholic radio station Real Life Radio 1380 AM and 94.9 FM. Leo is a central Kentucky native, a communications graduate from EKU, was formerly known as Freakdaddy at both Double Q and Z103 and has spent close to 15 years in active ministry. Hear Leo daily on Real Life Radio as the host of Diocese Live from 3:10 to 5 p.m.