Father, recovering alcoholic, changed
his life, now counsels others at Hope Center

Every Wednesday afternoon, Shawn Whitlock leaves his work behind, picks up his daughter Trysten from school and heads to the George Privett Recovery Center on West Loudon Avenue.

As Trysten occupies herself on an office computer,Whitlock takes his place as an instructor in the men’s alcohol and drug recovery class. The room falls quiet as he begins to speak about the power of recovery.

“You get to live two lives if you put the work into this program,” he tells the men.

Whitlock, who has been sober for nearly six years, speaks from experience. He first came to the George Privett Recovery Center as an addict himself, desperate for help to stay sober and out of jail. But now, he comes back to the center each week by choice, to share his story and inspire hope in others struggling with addiction.

“I took that crazy, insane way I was living, and it’s turned into my greatest asset,” Whitlock said. “There’s nothing more powerful than an alcoholic helping other alcoholics.”

Whitlock didn’t come to hold this perspective quickly or easily, however. Raised in a single-parent home in government housing in Lexington, a world of poverty and drugs was “pretty much the only life I’d ever known,” Whitlock said.

“In a hurry to grow up,” Whitlock moved to Florida with an older woman when he was 14 years old. He was sent back to Kentucky after getting into legal trouble there and was placed in a home for “wayward boys.” However, he “continued to rebel” once he got out of the home.

“I ran with anybody who was associated with drugs and alcohol – the ‘cool guys,’ I thought.”

Running with this crowd led Whitlock to jail for the first time at age 19. He served his time and was released, but at 24, he began using crack-cocaine, which earned him another conviction and got him placed in drug court.

Addiction controlled Whitlock’s life to the point that he couldn’t stop using drugs and alcohol, even after being sent to drug court. He failed several drug tests and was sent back to prison. It was during his time in prison that his daughter was born.

“I was real full of self-pity and resentment, knowing my daughter was being born and I was in prison. It was a real hard time,” he said.

This was one of the many times Whitlock swore off drugs and alcohol. But without treatment, he could not overcome the “mental obsession” he had with the source of his addiction.

“Like addicts do, I got in trouble again,” he said. “They wanted to send me away forever, basically. But they gave me recovery.”

Whitlock completed a recovery program in jail, but as the time approached for him to be released, he became fearful of returning to the same drug-filled environment. So he contacted the Hope Center, a shelter for homeless people and those suffering from mental illness or addiction, and he asked to be given a bed there.

“All my family members are pretty successful. They all own their own homes. All my brothers and sisters live here in Lexington – I just really lost it, being in that homeless shelter. I guess you could say that was my bottom. I couldn’t believe what my life had become. I wanted some way out,” Whitlock said.

While staying at the shelter, Whitlock thought about his future and saw the different paths that his life could take.

“I had seen guys that were sleeping on the mats everywhere all over the homeless shelter, and I could picture myself if I didn’t grab ahold of what they were giving me, this recovery deal. I could picture myself either there on that mat or in prison the rest of my life. So really, I had nothing to lose,” he said.

Whitlock, who has not used alcohol or drugs since June 14, 2006, decided to embrace the program offered at the George Privett Center, and he has never looked back.

The changes that were made in me were miraculous. I went from being a victim to a survivor, working the steps of recovery. They really, really do work,” he said.

The program worked for Whitlock, and when he was close to completion, he made contact with his daughter, who was 4 years old the first time they met. His daughter’s mother and her boyfriend were raising Trysten at the time.

“She didn’t know me … she was clinging to this other guy, calling him daddy, and it was really, really hard. I had some people that were really cheering me on and they kept telling me, ‘The only thing keeping you from being a good daddy to her is you. And you’ll have to do things differently than what you used to do.’”

Whitlock decided to go to court and was granted reasonable visitation, but he wanted more than just occasional visits with Trysten.

So, after 14 months of reasonable visitation, Whitlock filed for full custody.

The opposing attorney “picked me apart on the stand,” pointing out the mistakes of his past and his absence in Trysten’s early life, Whitlock said.

Whitlock didn’t try to deny the past, but told the court about the dramatic changes he had made in his life. He was running his own business, A Godsend Roofing, had his own home and transportation, and was not only in recovery but helping others recover from their addictions.

“I told him what was different, and I said, ‘The love for my child, it has superseded everything in my life. And I don’t want my child to grow up confused,’” he said. “My focus was on the prize – I wanted to raise my daughter.”

In 2008, Whitlock won his case, and earned full custody of Trysten, who is now 9 years old.

“It was the most awesome thing in the world. And it delved me deeper into what was given to me, (and) to want to give it to others,” Whitlock said.

Being able to raise Trysten made Whitlock even more grateful for the blessings in his life and deepened his faith.

“I started pursuing this overwhelming desire to help other people, and I knew it must be God,” he said.

In addition to teaching recovery classes and serving as a sponsor for recovering addicts, Whitlock became involved at Quest Church, where he often takes some of the men in recovery to experience the church’s service.

Currently, Whitlock has six people he sponsors, four of whom are in school. Like Whitlock, one of these men, recently gained custody of his son and lives at the One Parent Scholar House, another of the Hope Center’s programs.

“I get to give what my sponsor gave to me,” Whitlock said. “I passed those suggestions on to him and they have worked for him. Now, he has custody of his son.”

While he was in prison, a counselor once asked Whitlock what he wanted out of life. After thinking about it all night, the answer that came to him was joy.

“I didn’t know where that answer came from, but I do today,” Whitlock said. “I experience joy from spreading joy to them. I got to play a part in that. There’s nothing better in the world.”

The joy in Whitlock’s life continues to grow. He got married last November and was able to take his wife on a Hawaiian honeymoon.

“If you would’ve asked me six years ago, ‘Hey man, are you going to be coming down here preaching recovery, are you going to be raising your daughter, are you going to be a business owner, are you going to be getting married and flying off to Maui?’ I would’ve told you you were crazy,” Whitlock said.

People sometimes try to praise Whitlock for the changes he’s made in his life and the things he’s accomplished, but he reminds them that the blessings in his life are gifts.

“Look what’s been given to me. All I did was just put down the drink and the drugs. Everything else was a gift.”